Children often blame themselves for their parents getting a divorce, and this self-blame can leave a scar on a child’s psyche; a scar that they can carry with them into adulthood. According to the Child Mind Institute, children tend to blame themselves for the divorce when they are younger since younger children are usually more egocentric. If you are getting a divorce and are worried about how your children may handle the news, consulting with an experienced divorce attorney can give you the resources and information you need to help your children cope more effectively.
Considerations for Helping your Children During this Time
It is best to be as straightforward as possible when discussing divorce with your children. Try to avoid over-explaining things and instead discuss plainly what exactly is happening without sharing inappropriate details about the conflict or the relationship’s breakdown. It is best if both parents are there when these discussions occur. During this crucial time, emphasize that you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse love them very much and will continue to be a large part of their lives.
It can also be helpful to put up a calendar for the children to see when they will spend time with each parent. This visual indicator of when they will be with either parent can reassure children that they will indeed be able to spend time with both parents.
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