In the celebrated drama “The West Wing,” President Bartlet muses that he does not “like the word "stress." It's a Madison Avenue word. It's something that can be cured with flavored coffee and bath bubbles.” Like the word “stress” the word “self-care” is far too often associated with commercialization and the perception that someone’s challenges can be addressed effectively if they only take 10 minutes each day to meditate using a specific app or they treat themselves to that new sweater that they have been eyeing. Yet, genuine self-care should remain a critically important focus, especially during times of peak stress, including the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, and when filing for divorce.
If you are filing for divorce, you do not need to engage in manufactured, Instagram-ready approaches to self-care. Your time and energy are far too valuable for that. But, you do want to take good care of your mind, body, and spirit at this time. If you do not, the stresses that you are both being exposed to and are absorbing could sap your resilience, lead to clouded judgment when making decisions about your divorce process, and leave you less ready to tackle the challenges ahead of you.
How to Integrate Self-Care into Your Approach
Genuine self-care consists of efforts undertaken for your benefit, not to prove anything to anyone else. As a result, you will want to set some personal goals for yourself that will allow you to take good care of your body, mind, and spirit during this period of profound transition. Whether you commit to healthy eating, getting adequate sleep, hitting movement-based goals, seeking quiet time to reflect, and/or seeking out community support, focus on whatever it is that you need and how to integrate those efforts into your life in ways that will not cause additional stress.
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